The first time I met Anxious, he wasn’t Anxious.
He was just a really delightful duck.
It was March 26, 2025, and earlier that day, I’d done something I’d been thinking about – and worrying about – for quite a while.
I’d quit my job. Technically, I’d given notice.
When I got up that morning, I was ready.
The letter was written, and that afternoon I was going to hand it over. I was excited, but nervous. I’d had lunch beforehand with a colleague-friend and told her what I was about to do. She was wonderfully supportive. I was so full of adrenaline I could barely eat.
Note to self: the next time I make a big career move, maybe consider doing it in the a.m. so I can enjoy my meal.
Then I went back to the office and asked my boss if we could talk.
I’d thought a lot about what I wanted to say. While I was grateful for the experiences in that role including the clients and the co-workers, I was craving a change. I missed solving different kinds of problems. I longed to do work where I could see that I was adding value. I felt that I should take a leap of faith and try to find that by going back to freelancing.
So I started explaining this to my manager.
Somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t tense anymore.
I slid my resignation letter across the table.
And that was that.
After work, I went to my regular nail appointment located in a multi-shop plaza. When I came back out into the enormous parking lot, there was a little yellow rubber duck sitting on Sunny’s door handle.
I did not gaze deeply into his enormous apprehensive eyes and think, Clearly this creature has arrived to symbolize the uncertainty of the path I’ve just chosen.
Instead, all I thought was: Awwwww.
And took a picture.
I posted it on Facebook, where friends immediately assigned more meaning to a stranger’s gift than I did.
“What perfect timing. I love how the universe does cool things like this!”
“Sign of a bright future ahead!”
I liked those interpretations.
But mostly, I had a darling new arrival.
As I’ve mentioned before, Jeep people leave rubber ducks on other Jeeps to say “hi” and offer a smile. You find one perched on your door handle, mirror, or hood, and you’ve been “ducked.”
So, he joined the flock, riding around on Sunny’s dashboard (and eventually Beep’s), peering out at Arizona and occasionally catching my attention with that shell-shocked look of his.
I wish I could tell you that I immediately recognized something profound about his expression.
I did not.
For almost ten months, he was basically Cute Yellow Wide-Eyed Duck.
Then, in January, I was writing a story for this website.
You can read about it here, but the short version is that for some reason early this year, I finally noticed how my dashboard ducks shift around, and I wondered what they might be thinking (or talking amongst themselves about). Which is when I really began to pay more direct attention to him.
I remember thinking, “Cute Yellow Wide-Eyed Duck… you look worried about EVERYTHING!”
So, that’s when he became “Anxious”.
With the name came a voice and quite a personality.
“IS THIS THE TURN???”
I now feel that Anxious speaks in ALL CAPS.
He is not yelling. This is important. He just experiences everything at full volume.
- A common driving experience.
- A new situation.
- A perfectly ordinary object that perhaps deserves another look.
In this recent post, I imagine him in the bottom image saying, “WHY DID A PUMPKIN SWALLOW ME?”
Once I “heard” his voice, I couldn’t unhear it.
Since then, he’s started to get some social media attention.
One friend called him “adorable” (triggering an immediate puff-up of pride). Others comment when he appears in content (an agent has now been acquired). My mom even refers to Anxious by name (well he IS her ‘grand-duck’).
At some point, that cute waterfowl became a character.
And the character kept developing.
Anxious now has a wardrobe. (There have been hats. Many hats…)
There may have been some unrequested creative direction. (I should NEVER have let him sign with that agent…)
For all the silliness, though, there’s more to this little guy than fashionable headwear and SPEAKING AT HIGH DECIBELS.
He worries about things. A lot of things.
But, that rarely stops him.
Not bad for a small bath toy who showed up unannounced in a parking lot.
“I’M NOT SOME SILLY BATH TOY… I WENT TO FINLAND.”
He did.
Anyway…welcome to Anxious.
